i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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