U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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