TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
