Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
