Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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