I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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