Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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