I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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