i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
