it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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