Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize