My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
