How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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