the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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