I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
