i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How's work?
Spinning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
