Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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