I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize