Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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