she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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