Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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