Dual....:-)
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
