I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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