I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
