I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
