So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
