My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Even my vagina gasped.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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