He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
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Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My dick has a subreddit
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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