Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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