he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it's like heaven, but drunker
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
