so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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