you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize