Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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