you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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