What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
