My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He passed out mid-signature
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Randomize
