I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
