Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize