So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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