Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
