Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize