I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
