guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
