I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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