fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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