I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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