Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I know her cup size but not her name....
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