We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize