One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
