Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
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I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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