i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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