Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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