My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
