She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
