Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
