She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
