I wish I could punch you in the face.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
