Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
