Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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