I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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