Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
