my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
