I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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