Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
