dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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